New Year

Maaaaaaaaan, was 2022 interesting. Granted, 2022 had an amazing start for myself, given the hard work I had put into applying myself with my digital illustration work, my website (though I started that before 2022, it still applies), and working for a better job. Especially a job/career in using my talents and skills (that I enjoy). And it paid off. 2022 started on a good note for me and though I definitely wouldn’t call the year a cake ride - I’ve been greeted with my challenges, welcomed and non-welcomed alike.

With a career set job as a graphic designer, I still find my challenges. (And that isn’t that hard, given I’m an anxiety riddled individual that has been diagnosed (FINALLY) over the last two years with ADHD and Autism. From the age of seven, I was told I was ADD. Attention Deficit Disorder. Fast travel 30 years later and you have me floored and furious in my diagnoses in being ADHD and not ADD. Add being autistic, I’m beginning to see my trouble with so much - especially after researching and being given the proper guidance into being nuerodivergent.

FUCK.

A good part of me is even more livid at the school system I was forced into and how much they made me worse with their blind ignorance. No measure of understanding what a child goes through when growing up being told I was different, that because of that difference that I would be slower (yes, that is how the GA school system in the 90s would treat it), and pretty much putting a social target on a child’s back for even being in the “special education program”. I was thrown into classrooms with kids with severe autism and down syndrome. From seven years old until adulthood, I had “RETARD” “STUPID” “DUMB” and so many more nearly socially imprinted onto me. I was denied access to certain classes throughout grade school until finally legally withdrawing from the program at 17. I had to. One of the mandatory classes I had to take all throughout high school, because I was in the special education program, had me in “Study Skills”. Which was pretty much a free period to do homework…or work at the school store. That’s right, my school system used the “Special Ed'“ kids to run the school store. My parents taxes hard at work.

So yeah, when that program tried to deny me from intro to art - INTRO TO ART - I withdrew from it. I was done being labeled because society would only see ‘neurodivergent’ people…as retards. I was done being called stupid. Because I wasn’t.

Neurodivergent people make up your “geniuses” in society. Einstein couldn’t tie his own shoes but he succeeded in so much in his brilliance. You can’t judge a fish for not being to climb a tree like a monkey.

Remonter

Ever so often, I mention a story called Remonter. “Reset”. It is something I have been working on for years, even though the story came from a table top character I made when I was 15-17. (Memory serves me to thinking I made the character during a White Wolf campaign when I was 15 but I only have something as old as 17.) A story that started when I created Gabriel DePonce, a Get of Fenris character from Werewolf the Apocalypse, a White Wolf table top game. From there, the rest is history. The character has shifted and twisted in his own fashion but one that I decided to polish and organize. Or more so, re-organize.

To take a collection of characters gained over the years and use them. I already have backstories for them, I just need to re-establish them in a more structured manner. Given I wouldn’t trusts my writing when I was 17 through my 20s. lol

But my nerd writing, the thing that my mother and so many others gave me issue for “wasting my time”, are still the things which spark that creativity in me. What I know in digital art came from the years of wanting to shape my own characters, both in writing and visually. Something I continue to do.

I always have to remind myself when I finish a piece. This is my art. I made this.

Fan art, fan art, fan art!

The title says everything. I’m a big nerd and I love my fandoms. They inspire me. It also makes practicing techniques so much more fun when it is done with fan art. You learn better when having fun!

Been busy with work but I’ve been trying to keep myself to a routine of doing something each day, or at least try. I’m really happy with pushing myself and keeping what motivation that I can keep, because I can see a great deal of improvement over the last year. I partly have to thank that car accident making me see a bit more perspective on things.

Now I just need to organize everything I’ve made and set it up on a Print on Demand site. Will see about dusting off the cobwebs on my Printful account and see something happen. I want to be able to sell my work and even go to Conventions, because I work for a sign company. I can make retractable banners, table clothes, and work with some of the best printers in the industry. I have no real excuse. lol

Time to get it done!

This is Halloween!

With October comes Inktober!

Yeah yeah, I don’t really do much traditional art anymore, though I still have art supplies giving me the dirty look in the corner of my space here. But I always really enjoy watching all the Inktober pieces that people do. And it just makes so much sense to push myself to do the same. That and I’ve been doing more greyscale these days when it comes to color correction and trying to better myself in that means.

So Inktober here we go!

New Work Space

So I’m finally - FINALLY - getting things in order with my small home. I have a new standing desk! An upgrade to giving myself a good work space for my illustrations. Been pretty much on my iPad 100% of the time over the last year unless when at work.

Luckily I give myself some time - when able - to take time during lunch to set a base for an illustration or begin an idea. Been doing that simply because I do not have access to certain Photoshop features from computer to iPad. Getting better access to both is definitely going to challenge myself to up my game.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Birthday and art

Things have been nuts since the beginning of the summer. New job is going great, I’m learning a great deal. Still keeping the illustrations going, as any can see from my Instagram. About the only thing I keep updated. Lol But another year has passed by and it always gets me thinking. I’m going to try doing art tables. I dipped my toe into conventions and art festivals over a decade ago, even did my own art show. I just never sold my own stuff.

Still doesn’t stop me from doing my character illustrations. If anything, I gotta thank my roleplay my drive. I’ve always love creating. Worlds, characters, you name it. Makes me want to polish my past creations. So in between fan art, I do my own stuff.

Gerallt Myrddin, Gabriel DePonce, Rashun Wolfe, my many creations. Working on their story as much as time and energy allows.

Greek Inspiration

Recently feeling inspired after reading the new season/chapters of Lore Olympus, a series I’ve been following since its infancy. I love seeing how it has changed and evolved within its storytelling. The creator is brilliant and always so refreshing to read. And such, fan art needed to be done.

I just wasn’t expecting the amount of likes I would get from it. O_O

I need to do more.

It Has Been a Minute

A hot minute.

As the title says it, it has been quite some time since I actually did anything on this website. My shop is a mess that I’ve kind of shut the door on like a neglected puppy. I need to do better, especially when the PRO to getting my shop up and running smoothly means…more money for me. For someone that struggles financially, one would probably think I’m JUMP to the occasion. I’ve been more like a lump.

But I have a reason.

I GOT A NEW JOB. A CAREER JOB. AN ACTUAL PAYING JOB. However, the financial struggle is still real.

I’m the graphic designer at Image360 Tucker, a signage and graphics manufacturer. Got the job at the beginning of December and after the year I’ve had, it was a Christmas gift to myself. I really enjoy the work too. I do what I’ve been doing but actually get paid what I’m worth. And even though I have heard (from my boss who has been in graphic design and signage for 30+ years) that the sign industry doesn’t like graphic designer, we are about to go to two conventions where he speaks in a panel about the significance of graphic design in the sign industry. Earl Walker, my boss, will also be featured in Signs of the Times magazine where he talks about the same thing - the importance of graphic designers in the sign industry. The magazine will be showcasing his page over the month of May!

Back to those conventions though. ISA International Sign Expo (which is coming up in just a few days) and then Alliance Franchise Brands (the corporation that Image360 is a part of) Convention that is at the end of the month. My first ever business trip to my company’s convention! And on top of that, I entered into their poster contest with four different designs. I haven’t entered into a contest in a long time and it felt nice to do it again. I feel energized by this new sense of confidence.

I just need to let my depression or life get me down.

So instead, I make stuff. (Or try to!) My Instagram is still the best way to see the things I do and make. :)

SUCH AS THIS.

Strength

What is it about strength that seems both foreign and alluring? Watched Arcane and like any good story, there is that echo for the reader to feel an understanding. To make a story, fantasy or sci-fi alike, but what makes a great story is the way one can relate to characters. That is the connection that makes a reader into a fan. And add that to the beauty of a talented group of artists, the animation of Arcane is stunning. It inspires.

You see something like that and great stories like that is what draws the artist in. To see something and be amazed while thinking “I want to do that”. But more when you see a character, fantasy or not, that inspires. I’ve never played League of Legends but the stories behind those characters and the world they have made, I was inspired, especially with the story centered on sisters. So with the time given, being I’ve been busy with a new job that probably will be another waste of my time (the struggle is real), I was able work on a new character piece. I really like Vi.

What is it about strength that is alluring to me? From even a young age, I was fascinated by it to the point I focused more than a decade in writing my character Gabriel, the ever angry but evolving werewolf. That same fascination came through in watching Arcane and seeing this story between sisters unfold. So a doodle here became a reason to challenge myself.

Fuck, I need to find a better job.

Still job hunting

Ten applications a day and still very little in feedback or interviews. But hey, could be worse? …grumble grumble…

Fan Art!

As the title says it, I’ve been doing a lot of fan art. Not surprising, I’m a big nerd to begin with and I generally have something playing in the background while I work. In this case, a lot of Squid Game. I will be planning to put some of these designs on shirts soon.

Inktober is here!

I always loved seeing all the ink pieces other artists would do as they gracefully spam my instagram and facebook pages. But this year, I’m going to try my own hand at it!

…even if it is via digital pen.

I decided to do monster themes, given the month and holiday. I love Halloween and all things spooky!

Commissions are set!

I’v actually taken the time to set out my commission prices, something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. cough cough Still needing to do the same for my entire store. T_T

I’m horrible with numbers. >,>

But even after going through so many applications, which I’m still doing, and all the interviews - it is just a direction I’ve been doing for years, one that didn’t include my digital art. Just something I’m coming to grips with, while it makes sense to many other artists; graphic design is where I went because it makes me easier money, just not easier to deal with kind of money.

I stopped drawing. Instead with my head stuck in a sketchbook, it was stuck on a computer. I went to college and I was presented…digital art. Someone gave a nerd the ability to do something creatively and on a computer with the internet at my finger tips!

Now I am taking that skill and everything nerdy with me, and striding towards something on my terms.

My art.

The hunt continues!

So I’m currently job hunting and focusing on setting up multiple portfolios for various job positions, given my college degree plus eight years of graphic design experience. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to work on this story I’ve been writing and developing since I was seventeen. Gabriel, the very character I named my cat after. And my fur baby is nearly fifteen years old!

Time sure does fly by, and all the more reason to keep focused. My to-do list is long, though I already have pieces in the works - or done - from my portfolio. Within them will be various character studies and background / environment art of scenes & places of my story.

I give you my world of Remonter.

The Struggle is Real

My birthday is coming up and I don’t want to face the day. I use to love my birthday but now it becomes just something depressing. I’ve been trying not to think about it and keep busy, but easier said then done. It’s a terrifying thing to spend time and effort into something for it just to be moot. I don’t want this to be that.

I need keep at it and not give up. I’ve barely brushed the surface here and I’m going to keep on going in this direction. I have a portfolio being built out and job applications going out while trying to work on what I know my portfolio lacks. I was traditionally taught, I can paint the shit out of things.

Preparing for DragonCon

Still working on my portfolio plus, in time, I will be opening up my commissions for some future work. On top of that, been doing idea thumbnails for fan stuff for Dune. I looooooove Dune and so looking forward to the new movie. Be it sci-fi or cyberpunk, I just love the genre. That and some of my favorite movies and stories are sci-fi and cyberpunk themed.

Overhaul Started

Another up and down, which seems to be a constant in life. More illustrations! I’ve been leaning more into my digital art and starting to pick up drawing more. But most of all, I’ve decided to start working on my portfolio. Which means, yes, job searching!

I know I can do graphic design and I have so many years under my belt with it, I simply don’t enjoy it. So I’ve decided it is time to stop dicking around and actually do something that I went to school for.

So keep looking out for those graphics of the days and my gradual portfolio work. I also need to find a way to get my work better critiqued. All the more reason to get my website overhauled before DragonCon comes around. Might as well take advantage of professionals at the Con.

Digital Painting!

Been working a lot more on this iPad and learning to draw better from it, which I’ve been having so much fun doing. I honestly haven’t been drawing in years, something that is very sensitive me and the reasoning that came behind it. I’m slowly working on myself and trying to get better habits going forward.

I miss researching and studying different painting and drawing techniques, which has been something I’ve been trying to get back into. No more of this self sabotage. I want to do this. I need to do this. My sanity requires it! Lol

But getting back into portrait and light study has definitely paid off, if only allowing the old knowledge to come back like riding a bicycle. Below are some of things I’ve been working on over the last two weeks.

Change is here!

And change can sometimes take a long time to happen.

Things have been crazy but things have been good. I quit my Petco job and went into a more creative field with photography, photo and video editing, and graphics - stuff I kind of already know. It’s a learning curve but at least it is creative.

I’m keeping my graphic a day thing though, as anyone can tell that may keep up with this blog, I don’t always get time (or give myself time) to work on this website. I did a little revamp and decided to bring it back to the old format and just work in the background. I updated a section for Alysha’s Corner where you can find my Graphic of the Day, which is my Instagram. Check it out and follow! I also update my instagram more than I do my website or blog. D:

Now back to the chaos that is my life. <3

Oh, and Happy Independence Day.

New Change, Old Work

Back to doing graphic work but unlike before, I’m going into this like a bulldozer. Still trying to keep up with my graphic a day and it is coming along well, especially when I am able to plan out my day to fit my personal challenge. Something I always lacked before, or just never took the time to care about. Managing my time.

I will manage it. I will rule it. I will make it my B*tch! lol

For the mean time, I need to structure my life so I can begin to put pieces back together. Because my life has been in shattered pieces for too long and I need a clean up. This is the new change while I study more on work progress and checklists. I’m keeping myself accountable for this. I need to.

But - oh my God - I’m finally putting a plan in for my life. Also, my pretties are expanding. All the pretties.