My birthday is coming up and I don’t want to face the day. I use to love my birthday but now it becomes just something depressing. I’ve been trying not to think about it and keep busy, but easier said then done. It’s a terrifying thing to spend time and effort into something for it just to be moot. I don’t want this to be that.

I need keep at it and not give up. I’ve barely brushed the surface here and I’m going to keep on going in this direction. I have a portfolio being built out and job applications going out while trying to work on what I know my portfolio lacks. I was traditionally taught, I can paint the shit out of things.